Greetings!

Have a Blessed and Peaceful Christmas Everyone!

Best Advice on How to Get an Ex Boyfriend Back Now

Lemme share one of the articles i wrote for work. Lol. Enjoy reading!

Best Advice on How to Get an Ex Boyfriend Back Now

At one part of a woman’s life she would experience a downfall in a love relationship. Probably on the early years of her teenage life, or right when she was ready for marriage, or even when she was matured enough to know that the only love she wants is the love she has for ‘him.’ We long for the memories of a good relationship we had then; we let our mind consider many what-ifs; we feel every sad song like it was actually written for us; and we still feel a pang of pain in our hearts like it has just happened yesterday yet it has already been weeks or months ago.  We may simply miss his company or just can’t stand to live a day without him. Isn’t it amazing you ended a relationship because you both did not agree about something, but what you really want is to win your ex boyfriend back no matter what the past has been. Just what your heart desires, here are few of the best advices on how to get an ex boyfriend back. It may not be as easy as your first day of getting-to-know each other, but perhaps a second chance is after all the perfect answer to make the relationship work out.

No matter how you contest yourself of not looking back on your past, you might find it worthy to ask why your relationship has ended. Is it because someone has cheated or that fighting has been abusive that led to physical beating? Are there things you cannot accept of him or he just can’t take your being possessive and over powering? Or you are just challenged because he already has someone else and that you can’t take the idea of not having a boyfriend at this time. It is necessary you reflect on these things to confirm with yourself that at least on your part, what has happened in the past won’t happen again.

Rule number one: Be strong! Your first words to your ex boyfriend are determinant of your chance of getting him back. Crying and begging him won’t do any help.  You may feel the urge to let him know just how awful you feel about the breakup, but hey! You are only blowing your chance off as guys won’t be moved out of pity.  They are in fact irritated of seeing girls doing that.  Look confident, just how it’s going to work out.

Remind yourself how he fell in love with you. If you’ve met while enjoying on a night out with friends, then go out, try to meet up with him and his friends. Same way, if he fell in love with you because you were too much of a goal oriented and he admires you for that, let those goals embrace you once again. Or maybe that you get too serious with the relationship you have forgotten that it was humor that got him into you. What you need to do is focus on your positive qualities. Be more attractive and let him realize there are more than one ways for him to love you once again.

As you both may have different perspective, invite him to talk to you. Ask him how he is and that you can still remember the time you went out with him. You may express your feelings and the regret about things not working perfectly but remember, don’t over do it! Make it as casual as possible and consider every aspect of your conversation specifically paying attention to details of what he wants and doesn’t want in a relationship. Talk about possibilities, of things that have to be worked on. Do not keep blaming each other of why it has led to a break up.

And definitely, best advice on how to get an ex boyfriend back is to look your best.  If you remember him at certain point liking your hairstyle or the color of your outfit, then put that knowledge into action. Feel pretty; dress up like a princess again! Have a good time and make him notice that you are moving on with your life. You may be surprised just how interested he is, knowing other guys notice you. He may even start to miss you just before you realize what you are doing actually makes you feel even good for yourself.

Source:

http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Your-Ex-Boyfriend-Back

http://hubpages.com/hub/How-To-Get-An-Ex-Boyfriend-Back---The-Complete-Guide

http://vintage-love.info/2009/12/06/how-to-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back-these-are-things-they-dont-teach-in-school/

http://www.howtodothings.com/family-and-relationships/a4738-how-to-get-your-boyfriend-back.html

http://www.getbackyourexnow.com/Tips-To-Get-Your-Ex-Boyfriend-Back.html

http://www.exbackreview.com/ex-boyfriend-back.html

Bicol Trip Part 2

Saint John the Baptist Church in Daet :

Bicol Trip

We only had like an hour stopping by at the beach. Just took some pictures and moments of reminiscing the beach I grew up visiting on weekends, during my childhood. It was raging hot that time, but it was all sweet for the three of us  - my mom, my baby and me.three generations!

Pardon the quality of pics.Was just using phone to capture those lovely moments. 

Bagasbas Beach 

 

 

 

Got this on Facebook..

my PSYCHOLOGY PERSONALITY test result says:

You love the crowd... a party animal! Too many “friends”, you can’t easily tell which among them is real and not...

You hide your emotions... Sometimes pretending to be always happy. Sometimes, not giving even a hint of what you really feel.

You love deeply... you may flirt along and people think you’re a playboy/playgirl but the truth is: your heart belongs to only one.

You have so many ideas in mind... You’re creative and aggressive! If you want something, you’ll do anything to get it!

You’re a stubborn sweetheart... You “love” him/her only because he/she loves you. If his/her flame puts out, you let go with no trouble.

You’re intimidating! People have an impression that you’re elite—or if not, you simply look sophisticated. You gain praises but not companions.

You’re independent! You’re also risky just like the bajaken who sail in the vast and dangerous ocean to look for treasures!

Confessions of An Only Child

Last night my mom was brought to the hospital. Her blood pressure reaching 170/100. She said she's feeling shaky yet numb.After the close monitoring of her doctor for 12 hours, she's only on 130/90.Though my mom's still feeling dizzy, she said she's okay. She's 66 turning 67 january next year.

It saddens me that although she's okay, I can't get to take care of her. She's in Bicol for almost two months now. Decided to stay there with the nuns so she could serve the church more. She joins a Catholic group back in the province where she talks during seminars and bible studies. I can recall her reason for doing so - She wants to prepare herself. She didn't say for what, but on her age I know what she wants to tell me  - for her death.

There's just one thing on my mind. Ganto pala pakiramdam ng solong anak na alam mong any time pwedeng mawala ang nagiisang taong tumayong nanay at tatay mo all your life. I keep on thinking that I can live my life even if time comes that she'll have to be with our creator. She told me she wanted to stay in our hometown to prepare everything she needed. Kumpleto na lahat ng kelangan niya kung sakali - she bought her own lot at Eternal Gardens years ago, had her insurance which will take care of EVERYTHING including church service. It amazes me how she gets to do all these just to spare me of what has to be done when she's gone. Ako pa rin iniisip niya - her only child.

She told me to take care of my little babies. Of hubby, to lessen our arguments and to love him even more. Reminded me to finish the last few units left 'cause she's proud of my UP education. But she doesn't want her sisters to visit her at the hospital. I would want to disagree, but she has reasons. Is this what we call huling habilin? I told her that if this is the time, let's just be thankful for everything given for us - for the time we shared and the love we showed. Hayaan na natin yung mga hindi natin nagawa, I added. She replied, Kung meron man ako na hindi pa nagawa, ikaw na gumawa non. And I promised to do so. I wanted to make her feel na malakas ang loob ko, but that's just to make her at peace. But deep inside I am crying. Nanghihinayang ako sa time na hindi kame nagkasama cause I was in Los Baños, studying. I feel that of my 26 years living, I was only able to spend my first 15 years with her. That was the time when I still care less about her. When I was being too much of a goal oriented, wanting to be alone because I crave badly for my independence.Isn't it ironic that realization came when it's almost late to do things, to make someone feel about how we feel.

For a moment, I wanted to do everything for her. Knowing she wanted to see me made me cry even harder.I don't know when would be her 'right time' but maybe this is the chance for me to spend quality time with her.To capture the years we've lost even just to moments of pure love and care. And I hope it's not yet too late.

kelangan bang maging martir?

i was reading this site when this text quote reminded me of hubby : 

sad but true fact of lyf:

"people will love n adore u 4 da hundreds
of gud thngs u'vdone 4 dem..
but will hate u 4 a single mstake:-(

(people will love and adore you for the hundreds of good things  you've done for them,

but will hate you for a single mistake)

I was being paranoid last night having an argument with hubby on pretty simple things. which, i believe due to my post menstrual syndrome(if there is such or i was just being total b!tch) when he told me that :

alam mo ammy(his term of endearment for me) kahit na gano karami pagkakamali mo sakin, isang maganda lang na ginawa mo, bawi na lahat ng maling nagawa mo.

It suddenly struck my heart as if with a knife.hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ako, maiiyak or plain guilty for  being so dumb-hearted. There are things that i would want to understand but really there are reasons which keeps me from doing so.His being inconsistent has become an issue for me which literally in short his being  a liar at times.It has crossed my mind to just let go of these things.Pero ang hirap talaga tumanggap na lang ng tumanggap ng mga idea lalo na alam mong mali. 

Maybe marriage is about being able to swallow what you cant (no pun intended :D) . Or  in simple terms, minsan kelangan magpakamartir. Minsan you have to voice out your side pero in the end the guy still has the final say. The times that you need to say, you should have asked me first but all you can say is sige okay lang. When you needed to say pagod na ko but all you can afford is pahinga ka muna. 


Nakakainis isipin di ba?Pero kelangan maging martir minsan. Kelangan pagaralan. Somehow being a mother means being able to set aside oneself. But when you think about why you're doing it, and it's because of love, masarap sa pakiramdam. Siguro. But i have to try it yet. Lol.

A Filipino Makes it to CNN Top Ten Heroes

Rhandolf Fajardo,  shared his experience that he was pressured to join a gang during his sixth grade.Making it one of the most influential thing in his life. He recalled the time he was bullied until his high school and been thankful to Efren who helped him improve his life.

Efren together with his team, the Dynamic Teen Company, has been educating the youth (even children as young as two)for almost 12 years using the pushcart classroom as their major tool. This, equipped with tables and chairs, books and pens recreated an educational facility setup in unconventional areas like dump sites and cemetery.Their goal : to be productive by encouraging people to uplift their lives through education.

Through the years, more than 10,000 members have helped the organization by collecting recyclable items and selling crafts.

This cause made Efren Penaflorida to CNN Top Heroes.Together we can support him to be CNN Hero of the year by voting here.

Check out the Video.

Reference 

The Caribbean

Lemme share one of the articles i wrote about the Caribbean, my one dream place for vacation..

The Caribbean, paradise for its 35 unique destinations is a perfect escape for vacation.

Worth visiting is the Museo de Arte de Puerto Rico, a multimillion-dollar center which houses different cultural attractions and considered the Caribbean’s largest museum. Visit Redonda in Antigua if you’re looking for a combination of resort and bird sanctuary, just 56 km to the southwest. Other key attractions in the City include Fort James, Betty’s Hope Sugar Estate and Nelson’s Dockyard.


Aruba however is characterized by casinos, high-rise resorts and restaurants. Include the Hyatt Regency in your list of hotels and El Gaucho for some one of the best steaks in Aruba. In the Bahamas, consider Nassau on New Providence Island and Lucaya for sandy beaches and perfect diving and fishing experience.





Even wonder where Caribbean’s best kept secrets lie? - The Anguilla, known for its villa and expensive resorts. Occupying 179 acres and surrounded by palm trees white-sand beaches is Cap Juluca. Purely tropic atmosphere yet the architecture are built on a Moorish influence. This resort is equipped with private golf, junior Olympic-size pool, and golf driving range, croquet, tennis courts and other sports facilities.

Consider five top attractions when visiting the Barbados Island: the Gun Hill signal Station, an old military outpost built in 1818; Harrison’s cave, with an hour of in cave ride to underground rivers, stalactites and stalagmites topped with Arawak Indian exhibition, Food, and souvenir shop inside the cave; flight tour overseeing the Barbados view with Bajan Helicopters; the Welchman Hall Gully to discover the 1 kilometer ravine enrich with citrus and other rare plants; Ocean Park, with its remarkable aquariums, playground for kids and mini golf.


Worth visiting in Curacao is UNESCO’s World Heritage Site, the city of Willemstad, scenic with its busy port, ships sail right through the city center. The Octagon Museum, the Ostrich Farm, and Curacao Maritime are few other spotlights for Curacao.



Find relaxation and sun-tanning at Sunscape the Beach Punta Cana. Wild water sports, palm groves and sunny beaches and amazing entertainment make this place spectacular with friends and family. The floating attraction on the Caribbean is eminent to Haiti, splendid with beaches, art galleries, and historical monuments. At the Labadie area of Cap-Haitian-on exposes the Atlantic Ocean’s bluest connecting to the mountains.



St. Martin, the smallest island in the world is actually divided to two nations, the Netherlands and France. Perfect for romantic getaway is this tropical island. Take some Guavaberry, the folk liquor of St. Martin usually served to family and friends.

The Caribbean indeed is a haven of good food, luxurious places, rich culture and nature’s paradise.

Reference: http://www.professionaltravelguide.com/Destinations/Antigua-and-Barbuda/
http://www.wayfaring.info/2006/12/18/discover-the-taste-of-france-in-caribbean-island-st-martin/#more-970

On Motherhood and Marriage

Honestly speaking, I have been alone since i was 15.
Though the most I could think of was doing my own laundry, taking care of my stuff during my college days, eating alone or should i say buying out from a cafeteria, making school related decisions, having my nail care and oh well, shopping. That still i realized, wasn't at all about being independent.

Our family is on a traditional Filipino setup since i got married. Since i am an only child my mom lived with us the moment we decided to transfer in Cavite. Doing business before and later on giving up so as not to let ourselves (hubby and i) stuck up with the home-and-shop routine.

Hubby gets to do his work, commuting everyday. His was on a flexible schedule, it's car sales. He looks for clients, probably during mall duties or over the internet, makes follow ups, client agreed for the loan setup, hubby then processed necessary papers then releases it after client pays for down payment. After few days, the commission is up for withdrawal. Yet, it wasn't easy as that.

And now, after three years of marriage, my mom decided to stay in the province alone to be able to do her church obligations which she calls 'her preparation'.

Though i get to stay home for now, i don't regret it. I am hands on when it comes to taking care of my babies. The moment when they smell 'amoy-araw' after hours of playing, is the moment I find them most soothing to cuddle. Or simply watching spongebob after my panganay gets home from school while our little boy busies himself to saying 'Ma-Ma'. Being able to spend quality time with the kids is a magical feeling for moms especially for the young ones like me who are still on the learning process of motherhood.

And yes, we have our kasambahay with us. I may not get to do household chores that often but that's because our Ate gets to handle everything. Ika nga niya, konti lang ito (comparing to what she does back home in bicol). Yet, it's still too much for me to handle alone. There are times when I still ask Ate how to do things. And pretty well, I get to take care of things after. It sometimes crossed my mind that I prefer having someone like Ate than my mother. Mom would rather do the things I don't know than teaching it for me. I was her señorita as she calls me. The only thing I don't bother doing is cooking. That's because hubby has his own preferences when it comes to cooking and well thanks God I eventually get to master what he eats and what he does not. The way to a man's heart is after all through the stomach, aight?

Financially, hubby handles it well. He's a good provider though it's only been months since he started working after we ended our business. I do the allocating which surprises him of the times something is still left when he thought all the budget was used up. But spender as I was since birth, there is always something for shopping. There is time for us, mom and dad, and for the kids. It came to me that this might be a good way to practice patience for the little kids to wait for their shopping moments to avoid turo dito, turo duon. Children as young as they are need to realize that there is a right time for everything they want. In some ways, I don't want my kids to have their mom's thinking when it comes to money. Funny, but true.

Independence does not mean being able to do every single thing in the house but rather to be able to let things work based on your household setup. These things might have been ordinary, but these things are a few of what makes a relationship work. It is basic that parents have time for each other.Hubby and i usually go on a 'date' - could be a dinner just the two of us, watch a concert or just a night out away from home. There is a need to keep the flame for each other and to stay in love more each day. And though love is sweeter each day, it is more important for the kids to feel that their parents are independent - to make them feel that 'mom and dad can do this, this and that for us'. It may be being able to provide them what they need or about security. But for the young minds, it would simply be like - 'ito ang daddy at mommy ko'.

Uncovering Bulgaria’s Natural Beauty

Bulgaria stands out with huge biological and natural diversity; each is a masterpiece and brilliant of its own.

You will find numerous interesting destinations within the 111,000 square kilometer and rectangular-shaped territory of Bulgaria, significantly concentrated nature destinations just within short traveling distances. The coast of Bulgaria sums up to about 380 kilometers. Within the country amazing spots to 550 therapeutic mineral springs, shelters valleys and high plateaus, 16 mountains exquisite of its own beauty, and a collection of over 2000 thrilling caves.

Flora and Fauna

Every corner is haven of diverse unique flora and fauna that has been preserved in their natural nooks. Over 12,000 species of Bulgarian Flora have been on its composition, almost 4000 of which belong to higher plants. Endangered species include Balkan violet, Rhodopean tulip, Rila primrose and Bulgarian blackberry. Forests wild fruits include raspberries, strawberries, mushrooms, blueberries and briars.




Fourteen percent (14%) of Europe’s animal species came from Bulgaria. Thirteen thousand (13,000) species including rare mammals thrived into the hunting grounds and reserves – deer, wild goats, quails, pelicans, stag and pheasants. Rila, Central Balkan and Pirin comprise the total 221,252.2 hectares of national park while 180,000 hectare of land belongs to nine national parks. On top of it are more than two thousand natural landmarks and territories and 16 wonderful reserves ideal for hobby and scientific tourism as well as photo-hunting.


The Sea

Along the Bulgarian coastline are beaches magnificently covered with golden sand. A number of which have been recipient to EU Blue flag for environmental excellence.

The Black Sea as the Greeks call it refers to a calm, soothing yet tempting sea. The bottom of the sea slopes quietly, perfect for swimming even for the little ones.
Water temperature ranges 17°C to 25°C during summer. Expect over 300 hours of sunshine in the months of July and August while about 240 hours in May and September. Be fascinated with Bulgarian Black Sea coast with its fishing towns and campsites, orchards and vineyards, rugged shores and even romantic peninsulas.

The Lakes

There are 280 glacial lakes in Bulgaria that are mostly situated at 2,200-2,400m altitude in the mountain zones of Pirin and Rila. Ledenika Lake, the highest lake surpasses this and can be found at an altitude of 2,715 meter.



Around October, ice covers up to two meter thick of the lake during and by summer obtain water from the melting snow of mountain peaks directly flowing into wild streams until the big rivers of Bulgaria like Mesta, Maritsa and Iskur.
Smolyan lakes make one of the best known groups of lakes in the Western Rhodopes area. The Orlovi Skali or the Eagle’s Rocks ascends in the area while the seven lakes are to be found amphitheatrically located in the vicinity.

The Rivers

Danube is the only navigable river of the 526 that exist in the country - the rivers starting from the mountains down to the Black Sea and the Aegean. However, you’ll find good opportunities for adventures like diving, para-gliding, canoeing, wild water rafting in the valleys of Mesta, Chepelarska, Vatcha, Struma and Iskar.

Vienna

Vienna : A Timeless City

Vienna is the capital and biggest city of Austria, boasting its rich art and culture, tourist spots and climate seemingly perfect for vacation.

Temperature averages during summer at 23-25°C while rarely less than 0°C during winter. It is the east most part of Austria stretching close to Hungary, Czech Republic and Slovakia with population of 1.7 million and considered as 10th in rank as largest city in the European Union.

Formed in 500B.C. as a Celtic settlement, this city became home to Habsburg and Babenberg dynasties during the Mid-Ages followed by the events of the Vienna Congress and later on by Napoleon's defeat. The population of the city dropped, as much of the historic buildings were completely ruined during the Second World War. Reconstruction of the city started after the war until 1980s and eventually the population increased.




Art, Culture and Tourism

From museums of Hoftburge and Leopold to Treater an der Wien and House of Music theaters; classical music to fine arts; birthplace to Strauss and Schubert as well school to composers Brahms, Beethoven, Mozart and Haydn, this city is definitely a 'temple of culture'.



Ringstrabe is the boulevard created to connect the key places around the area. This includes the Rathaus which houses the office of city government officials; the Staatsoper; the Burgtheatre; the museums of natural history and fine art and some Universities. The Vienna State Opera is also worth visiting with its modern architectural design built with the latest technology. Museumsquartier or the MQ, however, holds most of the cultural centers. It has a total area of 60 square kilometer located at 7th district. A lot of concerts highlighted the Viennesse music, mainly the masterpieces of Strauss and Mozart. Elisabeth, the musical, was the most successful so far, as it was translated and performed everywhere in the world.

Other places which draw more and more tourists’ attraction include the Hofburg imperial palace, Beethoven’s residences and his grave at the Central Cemetery, Mozart’s memorial grave, as well as a number of churches such as the St. Stephen’s Cathedral, the Minoritenkirche and the Karlskirche. Vienna is also the home to Viennale Film Festival which is usually on the second half of October.

If you are into nightlife, the district of Grinzing has the best to offer; packed with huge number of beer houses, taverns that are open until early hours of the morning and restaurants where you can try the famous breaded veal, Wiener schnitzel. A lot of coffee houses can be found as you stroll along the streets while enjoying the music played by local people.

Vienna also offers good public transportation with its tram network and bus services, operating during the day. While the Nightline, during the night hours. Many holiday apartments can be found within the area that provides holiday offers for accommodation.

Vienna is timeless. This city, historic yet futuristic. Both elegant and romantic. Definitely one of the best destinations of the world.

References : http://ezinearticles.com/?Great-Things-to-See-on-Holiday-in-Vienna&id=1866067

http://ezinearticles.com/?Vienna-A-Quick-Guide-To-Vienna-Austria&id=185791

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Wine-Regions-of-Austria----Focus-on- Vienna&id=139251

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vienna

(submitted write-up)

Confessions

i have written this years ago.. just feel like reposting it
i sort of can relate to it this times.my drama moments. lol 
here we go..




did i bother you when i say i wasnt feelin well last night?
i told u i wasnt really sick or somethin. it was this book
kasi...the cat's eye, remember? it made me into tears and
just suddenly i feel like i wanted to talk to you, coz i
know holding you would be an impossibility.there was this
part that a guy asked the girl after a long time if there
had been any 'guys' beside him (he was just pretendin he
didnt know that the girl really has).Then the gurl
answered 'what made you think of that?That was a long time
ago'. I cant help but think of the times that I was like
that girl.That girl hidin somethin from you..and the time
when i asked bout 'her' (remember?) when you
answered 'ewan ko.para sakin wala.' I know it all goes down
to jealousy, my being paranoid.It was the least that i
shud do but believe me, it was the hardest.And although
i've been forgetful and all, honestly a mark of it
remains.but it wasnt bitterness at all.i cud oweiz stare
somewhere and smile and say ' there was a reason...'

i dont exactly know what i wanted to point out here.there's
just these things on my mind wantin to get out.but what i
do know is i wanted to thank you.it's not everytime that i
say this, but am really (should i say?) honored to find the
love u have for me, then and now.i wanted to be the perfect
gurl for you...but as reality says, that is just
like 'you havin milk'.very unlikely.

i only have myself and  my imperfections to offer - tons of
jealousies and doubts. i was tryin to change, tryin to be
what you want.hallucinating someday i wud be that
pretty,sexy lady you dreamed of.but see? i cudnt be that...
even as i try to make myself believe people love me for
what i am...it's still different.i cudnt be the gurl
perfect for you.and i dont know how else  i can be.

i made you believe me with those acts, coz i wanted  to hurt you.
.and you to hurt me..and though it's pathetic to say ( yet i've said it
before)and it's hard to admit... i have fallen madly inluv
with you...with all those kisses, the stares, the embrace,
the words and how you treated me...it deepens more...

i was all along dreamin to be with you forever and it hurts
me, knowin (though for a fact) that you are not ready yet.i
realize now, that guys though they are so much inlove with
a girl, marriage is still a different thing.the sad part is
i expected for a guy to think the way i do.maybe i am so
much younger the way i thought i am.i still wanna grow old
with you...

Date Written: 2003-02-10 12:01:11

How TRUE LOVE finds you

I just want to share an article i got from one of my online diaries..
For people looking for love, confused, hesitant..and for people who just want love.
hope you like it!


HOW TRUE LOVE FINDS YOU

I began to learn about love in dancing school at age 12.
I remember thinking on the first day I was going to fall madly in
love with one of the boys and spend the next years of my life kissing
and waltzing.
During class, however, I sat among the girls, waiting for
a boy to ask me to dance. To my complete shock, I was
consistently one of the last to be asked.

At first I thought the boys had made a terrible mistake.
I was so funny and pretty, and I could beat everyone I knew at
tennis and climb trees faster than a cat. Why didn't they dash toward me?

Yet class after class, I watched boys dressed in blue
blazers and gray pants head toward girls in flowered shifts whose
perfect ponytails swung back and forth like metronomes. They fell easily
into step with one another in a way that was completely mysterious to
me. I came to believe that love belonged only to those who glided, who
never shimmied up trees or even really touched the ground.

By the time I was 13, I knew how to subtly tilt my head
and make my tears fall back into my eyes, instead of down my cheeks,
when no one asked me to dance. I also discovered the powder room,
which became my softly lit, reliable retreat. Whenever I started to
cry, I'd excuse myself and run in there.

I finally stopped crying when I met Matt, who was quiet
and hung out on the edges of the room. When we danced for the first
time, he wouldn't even look me in the eyes. But he was cute, and
he told great stories. We became good buddies, dancing every dance
together until the end of school.

I learned from him my most important lesson about
romance: that the potential for love exists in corners, in the most
unlikely as well as the most obvious places.

For years my love life continued to be one long novel.
In college, I fell in love with a tall English major who rode a
motorcycle. He stood me up on our sixth date. In my mid-20s I moved to
NY where love is as hard to find as a legal parking spot. My first
Valentine's Day there, I went on a date to a crowded bar on the Upper
West Side. Halfway thru the dinner, my date excused himself and
never returned.

At the time, I lived with a beautiful roommate. Flowers
piled up at our door like snowdrifts, and the light on the answering
machine always blinked in a panicky way, overloaded with messages from
her admirers. Limos purred outside, with dates waiting for her behind
tinted windows.

In my mind, love was something behind a tinted window,
part apparition, part shadow, definitely unreachable.
Whenever I spotted happy looking couples, I'd wonder where thy found love,
and want to follow them home for the answer.

After a few years in the city, I got my dream job --
writing about weddings for a magazine called 7 Days. I had to find
interesting engaged couples and write up their love stories. I got
to ask total strangers the things I'd always wanted to know.

I found at least one sure answer to the question "How do
you know it's love?" You know when the everyday things
surrounding you -- the leaves, the shade of light in the sky, a bowl of
strawberries -- suddenly shimmer with king of unreality. You know when
the tiny details about another person, ones that are insignificant to most
people, seem fascinating and incredible to you. One groom told me he
loved everything about his wife, from her handwriting to the way she
scratched on their apartment door like a cat when she came home. One
bride said she fell in love her fiance because, "one night, a moth was
flying around a light bulb, and he caught it and let it
out the window. So she said, 'that's it. He's the guy'."
You also know it's love when you can't stop talking to
each other.

Almost every couple I've ever interviewed said that on
their first or second date, they talked for hours and hours. For some,
falling in love is like walking into a soundproof confessional
booth, a place where you can tell all. I can't tell you how many women
have told me they knew they were in love because they forgot to wear make
up around their boyfriend. Or because they felt at ease hanging around
him in flannel pajamas. There's some modern truth to Cinderella's tale --
it's love when you're incredibly comfortable, when the shoe fits
perfectly.

Finally, I think you're in love if you can make each
other laugh at the very worst times. As someone once told me, 90% of
being in love is making each other's lives funnier and easier, all the way
to the deathbed.

I've interviewed many people who were down on their luck
in every way a ballerina with chronic problems, a physicist who
had been on 112 blind dates, a clarinet player who was a single dad and
could barely pay rent. But love, when they found it, brought humor,
candlelight, home-cooked meals, fun, adventure, poetry and long
conversations in their lives.

When people ask me where to find love, I tell a story
about one of my first job interviews. He gave me some advice I will
never forget.

He said "Go out into the world. Work hard and
concentrate on what you love to do, writing. If you become good, we will find
you."

That's why I always tell people looking for love to wait
for that "I won the lottery" feeling -- wait, wait, wait! Don't read
articles about how to trap, seduce or hypnotize a mate. Don't
worry about your lipstick or your height, because it is not going to
matter. Just live your life well, take care of yourself, and don't mope too
much. Love will find you.

Eventually it even found me. At 28, I met my husband in
a stationary store. I was buying a typewriter ribbon, and he was
looking at Filofaxes. I remember that his eyes perfectly matched
his faded jeans. He remembers that my sneakers were full of sand.
He still talks about those sneakers and how they evoked his childhood --
things he cherished.

How did I know that it was true love? Our first real
date lasted for nine hours; we just couldn't stop talking. I had never
been able to dance in my life, but I could dance with him, perfectly
in step. I have learned that it's love when you finally stop
tripping over your toes. A year after we met, we married.

With each story I hear, I have proof that love, optimism,
guts, grace, perfect partners and good luck do, in fact,
exist. Love in my opinion is not a fantasy, not the stuff of romance novels
or fairy tales. It's as gritty and real as the subway, it comes
around just as regularly, and as long as you can stick it out on the
platform, you won't miss it.